Online Safety & Etiquette

Your child wants to play online with people outside your home. That's normal and can be great. You need a simple checklist: how to find safe groups, set platform privacy, spot red flags, and know what good online etiquette looks like.

What you'll learn

How to recognize safe, well-moderated groups.
Platform privacy settings that protect identity and location.
Red flags that signal an unhealthy group.

Finding vetted groups

Start with communities that verify organizers and enforce codes of conduct. Many hobby stores, libraries, and schools now run online sessions for teens. Ask if the Game Master (GM)—the facilitator who frames scenes, adjudicates rules, and plays NPCs—is background-checked or trained.

Look for groups that require Session Zero—a planning meeting to align tone, boundaries, schedules, and tech. That meeting should include a parent if your child is under 18. Groups that skip this step often skip other safety steps too.

Reputable platforms and communities publish clear rules. They list how to report problems and who reviews them. If you can't find that information quickly, move on.

Platform privacy basics

Most digital table play—playing via voice or video chat, sometimes with shared tools—happens on Discord, Zoom, Roll20, or Foundry. Each platform has privacy settings. Set them before the first session.

Username: Use a nickname, not a real name.
Profile photo: Avoid photos that show your home, school, or identifying details.
Location services: Turn them off for gaming apps.
Direct messages: Limit who can send them. Some platforms let you disable DMs from non-friends.
Screen sharing: Review what your child shares. A messy desktop can leak private info.

Write these settings down. Check them every few months because platforms change defaults.

Red flags to watch for

Trust your instinct. If something feels off, it probably is. Here are common warning signs:

Pressure to move off-platform. Legitimate groups stay on the original platform. A request to switch to a private chat app can bypass moderation.
Requests for personal details. No GM needs your home address, school name, or phone number.
Guilt or secrecy. "Don't tell your parents" is never acceptable.
Unequal attention. If one player is singled out with gifts, private messages, or special story focus, that's a concern.
Ignored boundaries—content or situations a group chooses to avoid or soften. If a player says "stop" and the group keeps going, leave immediately.

Most groups are fine. But knowing these patterns helps you act fast if you see one.

Communication norms

Healthy online groups follow table etiquette—courtesy that keeps the game smooth and friendly. They take turns speaking. They mute when not talking. They use safety tools—agreements and signals to keep play comfortable for everyone—like pausing if someone feels uncomfortable.

Good GMs explain tech before the session starts. They invite quiet players to speak. They end on time. They follow up with a quick debrief after the session to share highlights and adjust.

If your child's group does these things, celebrate it. If not, ask why. Sometimes new groups just need coaching. Sometimes they need to disband.

Try this (2 minutes)

Sit with your child and review the platform they'll use. Find the privacy settings together. Set a username. Disable location services. Bookmark the "report a problem" link. Practice how to leave a call quickly if needed.

Common pitfalls

Assuming all online groups are unsafe—most are welcoming and well-run.
Skipping the Session Zero meeting—this is where you meet the GM and clarify expectations.
Not checking in after the first few sessions—ask open questions like "What was your favorite moment?" to spot problems early.

Do this next: Accessibility